If you plan to marry someone with children from a previous marriage or relationship , it is important to understand from the very beginning that your future spouse’s child or children will play a very big role in your lives once you get married. If your spouse has primary physical custody of his or her children, this role will be even larger.
Ask yourself Do you like the kids? Even more importantly, do they like you? These are two questions that you should seriously and honestly consider prior to marrying your future spouse. It may seem like a terrible thing to consider, but irreconcilable differences between you and the kids could lead to an irretrievably broken marriage. So, be honest with yourself and be honest with your spouse.
Secondly find out what is expected of you as far as parenting is concerned. What role will you play? Will you be expected to take a more active or passive role in parenting? Make sure you and your fiancé talk about this well in advance.
Another thing is When you marry someone with children from a previous relationship, you are not only marrying that person, but you are marrying their children and their co-parenting relationship with their ex. How do you feel about that? It’s one thing to know your future spouse was with someone else prior to you, but are you ready to deal with your spouse continued relationship with his or her ex? Remember, the continued relationship your mate shares with his or her ex is for the kids. Don’t let jealousy cause unnecessary problems in your relationship Incase they opt to Co-parenting.
And finally If your spouse has children from previous relationship, it may very well be the case that they do not wish to have more children. But, if having your own children is something that is very important to you, find out exactly where your fiancé stands on the issue. Hopefully you two can reach a compromise that satisfies the both of you.